In the middle of a long winter's night, we find a blessed time for going within to find perspective and wisdom. This is a place where we often find our own unique beauty. It can also be a place where we find our inner critic. That's a powerful thing. A true and balanced critique of our lives in the winter season brings the seeds of bounty that will sprout with the warmth of Spring.
I'd like to share a holiday story I heard long ago. If you know it, please read it again with a fresh mind and an open heart.
A newlywed couple invited their families to have Christmas at their new home. They were both excited to host the holiday - and in the process create their own family traditions. AS they went along they asked each other the whys and hows of the traditions they grew up on. The night before Christmas the wife was preparing a ham. As she cut both ends off of the ham, the husband asked her why she did it. She explained it was how her mother had always done it, but she didn't know why.
On Christmas morning when his mother-in-law arrived, the husband asked her why she cut off both ends of the ham. She explained it was the way her mother had always done it.
Later that afternoon, Grandma arrived. After offering her eggnog, the husband asked why she cut off the ends of the ham. Was it to release the juices? Did it allow the flavor of the pineapple and cloves to get into the center of the ham? Grandma patted his hand, took a drink of eggnog and explained the reason.
"My dear," she said, "the ham was always too big for the pan. I cut the ends off so it would fit. Never did get a bigger pan."
I like to share this story because it reminds us how easy it is to do things out of habit or tradition and to forget (or never even know) why we do them. We pass patterns on as part of the human experience. It creates culture and connection. It can enrich our lives and should be honored for that. And,....
Every once in a while it's a good thing to critique what we do and to see if it serves us. Winter's cold and dark days practically beg us to do this. Sleep. Dream. Consider. We stare into the flames of the fire while holding a hot mug between our hands and we entertain the "what ifs", "could haves" and "why nots".
If Winter doesn't tempt us into this introspection, friends and family gathered around the holiday buffet often do. Family has a way of reminding us of our dreams and promises - the ones left to gather cobwebs; the ones forgotten; the ones realized and the ones that were somebody else's. Add friends into the mix, throw in the impending New Year Eve tradition and most of us are deep into self-evaluation. "Why do I cut off the ends of the ham?"
Before you throw away the pan, stop baking ham, leave the ends on or choose to stay with tradition, check out "what's in the field". If you don't know what's in the field, how can you decide relevance or make choices about what to keep and what to change?
Asking, "what's in the field" comes form an indigenous peoples perspective (although marketing professionals and politicians us it in a different form). The question acknowledges the significance of this place and time while honoring what has come before it.
Our history and traditions are always in the field - as is the collective unconscious. But there is so much more. In the field we find our current motivations and circumstances: available resources, world and local events, responsibilities, freedoms, current trends, our age, our status, our connections, etc. We also find astrological, seasonal and other environmental influences. Perhaps the most important things in the field are the lessons we are currently learning.
Only when we consider the field can we be true and balanced critics. It's like a farmer deciding what to plant next season. If she planted corn last season, she knows the field is nitrogen depleted. Whatever her decision, this factor is part of the outcome.
What's in your field? Who are the players (seen and unseen)? What are the lessons you have just learned? What lessons are you moving through now? What motivates you? What influences surround you? What's your history? What are your patterns? What resources are in your field?
Make sure you are the one making decisions in your field. We cannot ask our mothers to make the decisions of our time. When we act out of unconsidered tradition/patterns, we do this. Make sure you are standing in your field. We should not criticize our mothers for the decisions of their times. When we blame our mothers for actions they took that have seemingly adversely affected us, we are wasting energy trying to straddle two fields - their's and ours. (I did this for several years until I realized I can never really put myself in her shoes - I only have my own field for reference. As soon as I let go, my field came into focus and I was able to heal what I needed to heal.) Each field is as individual as a fingerprint.
By the way, you cannot get rid of the field. It's like the air you breathe. So take time in the next few weeks of Winter to play in your field and harvest the seeds of your life. When the New Year brings lighter and warmer days, enjoy the planting. Tend the garden of your ever transforming life. It's an adventure only you can take. May it be full of gratitude and abundance.
(text written by Coleen Renee, CSH, WOW Council Member)
Very nice, thank you! I just found this site in a round about way and have made many wonderful connections in doing so. I look forward to your postings in the future.
Many Blessings!
Posted by: Kelly | January 06, 2007 at 03:58 PM